Back to December ( A Christmas Heartbreak)

Christmas.
  The name itself is enough to make your heart swell with      interest and excitement. Christmas holds a lot of meaning to a lot of people. To me it holds love, hope and kindness. The color itself, Red and white signifies the words. So as the month December...
  When December hits. We take that opportunity to have a closure for that year, at least until Christmas. And we do we have this sense of relief.                   But it didn't feel like it this December....
  Neither did it, last year....

I was blind. Stupid. Foolish, I agree to that. I couldn't see what was right in front of me even though it never left. When December came I didn't take the opportunity to have a closure instead I pushed it far away, that I can't even reach it.
I ignored you far too much, made wrong decisions, took your smile for granted, forgot your birthdays not knowing what I was doing in the process. They said pay attention in small things not big accomplishment. What a shame because all I did was the
  Complete opposite.

And now here I am walking in the harsh winter days with nothing but cold and dark nights. All alone in my room with no one to cuddle or hear sweet things from. The last time I saw you is still burned behind my mind. It was that night, that night that it all changed. That Christmas night.
I've spent all my Christmas with you that I've forgotten how it is to spend it alone and now that I have a glimpse of it. It's terrible. I feel lonely. I wanted space and now I have it, I hate it. I wanted freedom and now that I have it, I just want to go back to December to change it all.
 But I can't and it hurts. This isn't Christmas neither will next year be if you're not there with me. You are everything Christmas signifies. You're the white and red and there is no Christmas without you.
Maybe this is my fate, to be alone with fear crept in mind, wishing to go back to that December night to change everything. But I really hope your Christmas is nothing like mine. Cold and lonely
It will be lovely and charm and you can do all the things you've always wanted to do in Christmas with someone. Someone who deserves you, someone that's not me.

Merry Christmas my special Sommind and  happy Holidays...

                                      ****
   My little Christmas message for my readers.
NOTE: Don't misunderstand this post. It's not directed to anyone. Obviously it's about Christmas and heartbreak and I also didn't suffer through it.
This post is inspired by Taylor Swift's "Back to December" you could see I used part of the lyrics of the song. I hope you liked it and it didn't bore you. Try to connect with it or play any heart breaking songs " Back to December" will work perfectly that way you might enjoy it.

Till next time guys.

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